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14 Signs You Must Know That May Save a Man's Life


Do you know that men's suicide is called a "silent epidemic?"
It is considered an "epidemic" because its high incidence made it a substantial contributor to men's mortality rate, and "silent" because of the lack of public awareness and research of its causes and the reluctance of men to seek help for problems that drive them to kill themselves.
While HIV is always hugging the news, in 2005 only 45 died in Canada of AIDS while suicide claimed 2,857 lives.
How serious is it?
Very. Not just for its sheer magnitude but because:
First: Knowledge in the causes of suicide, especially age-specific cases is not available;
Second: The lack of understanding of the complexity of suicide, the reasons why more men commit suicide than men, making it difficult to come up with preventive programs to address its high incidence.
Third: There is hardly any effort at making policies and programs targeting men with suicidal tendencies;
Fourth: Men are generally reluctant to seek help on suicide-related concerns plus the stigma of being considered a mental health case.
At any rate, these figures speak for itself:
· British Columbia - has 3,000 suicide cases each year and is one of the top three cases of mortality among men aged 15 and 44;
· Canada - suicide is the 7th leading cause of death in 2007;
· U.S.A. - figures from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) show that in 2014, 42,773 suicides were reported, making it the 10th leading cause of death among Americans, next to cancer and heart disease;
· U.K. - in 2013, 4,858 men killed themselves.
And here are some baffling facts about this phenomenon:
· Across all countries (except China and India) men are 7.5 times more inclined to commit suicide than women, at 3.0;
· More men commit suicide as they age, peaking in the late 40s, then falling significantly and rising again in the 80s.
Why?
This alarming rate of suicides has doctors, psychologists, behavioral scientists scratching their heads because we live at a time when there are more choices to engage our interests, more places to go to chill out, better and faster communications tools to reach out to family and friends, more sophisticated diagnostic tools, and more resources for help people who are driven to the brink.
Even policy makers are also alarmed. In the U.S. in 2010, it was estimated that suicides cost $44 billion annually, mostly from lost wages and productivity from working age adults.
Another $2 billion, annually, is lost in treating those that survived suicide attempts.
The sad fact is that all these are mostly treated as clinical depression (a type of major depression that satisfies the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health, DSM, set by the American Psychiatric Association), without concrete data on the reasons for their mental health problems..
They have the profiles, called indicators, of potential suicide victims, those who sought medical or professional help, but not from those who succeeded.
But these are non-conclusive, to say the least, because they don't address the gender and age differences of those who successfully committed suicide. They are good starting points, however, identify those showing suicidal tendencies.
These are:
· Family history of suicidal behavior;
· Lack of social support;
· Family breakdown;
· Overwork;
· Employment insecurity;
· Alcohol or drug abuse.
Experts are one in saying that they can only do so much - if a would-be suicide seeks medical help - which a lot of men are not willing to do.
This raises the need for family, friends and other social contacts to help addressing this alarming and growing problem.
What you can do:
Experts agree that it is fairly easy to spot suicidal tendencies in a person. These however, do not distinguish between those who just have a passing thought of committing suicide from those who actually do it. But they are better than nothing.
Family and friends are in the best position to spot these signs. When they do, they should encourage the person to seek professional help from therapists, psychiatrists, school counselor or even the family doctor.
They must be assured that you are there for them, that you care and that you will support them no matter what.
When they say these things, encourage them to talk about it:
1. Life isn't worth living;
2. My family (or friends, girlfriend) would be better off without me;
3. Next time I will take enough pills to do the job right;
4. Take my prized collection or valuables - I don't need them anymore;
5. Don't worry, I won't be around to deal with that;
6. You'll be sorry when I'm gone;
7. I won't be in your way much longer;
8. I just can't deal with everything - life's too hard;
9. There's nothing I can do to make it better;
10. I'd be better off dead;
11. I feel there is no way out.
On top of these ominous statements watch out for changes in behavior like:
1. Getting affairs in order (paying off debts, changing a will);
2. Giving away articles or either personal or monetary value;
3. Signs of planning a suicide such as obtaining a weapon or writing a suicide note.
Story of a very painful and long suicide:
He died of sclerosis of the liver due to heavy drinking.
He was a very idealistic, intelligent and driven man. He was in the media (newspaper and radio), whose career was put in the backburner when strict censorship was imposed by martial law.
Meantime his children were growing up, endowed with the values of the young, and whose education was put on hold due financial woes.
This put a tremendous load on his shoulders, making him drink more than he used to. Breakfast saw him drinking rum, straight, instead eating.
Ultimately he got down with a fever. After a week it was suggested that he be taken to the hospital for check up. He was diagnosed with advanced liver damage.
He died a week later.
In his younger years, he was a brilliant medical student whose aspirations to be a doctor were cut by the WWII. After the war, he was the de facto doctor of his small community.
In other words, he knew what he was doing and its consequences. Yet he went on with it until he died.
He was my father and it was very unfortunate that it happened when he has practically driven us away, his children, due to his unrealistic demands, to be of help when he needed it most. And we were not any wiser, either.
Don't let it happen to you.
I retired from the corporate world as an engineering manager for Far East Operations, a position which imbued in me a profound knowledge on motivation, self-development, career planning, environment, and organizational mechanics.

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